The other day someone asked me how long I had been married and if I had any children and when I responded that I have been married almost 6 years and that right now I just had 2 adorable puppies..the person thought for a moment and asked me if I have ever considered having children. That took me by surprise, I have always considered having children ever since I can remember. I have known for a long time that my body would not be able to bear children but I have always longed to be a mother. I know the person did not mean any harm but at the same time they don't know what I am going through, no one really does but Adam and I. I hate the fact I will never be able to say the words "I'm pregnant." The pain is indescribable and sometimes hard to bare. I lay awake at night wondering why me? Why was this taken from me? Why do bad people who hurt innocent children get the privilege of raising precious individuals and I don't?
Becoming pregnant and having a baby is so taken for granted! There are so many women out there who would give anything to be pregnant! Adoption doesn't fix infertility and I know firsthand it doesn't take the pain away. It doesn't change the fact that I will always be on the outside of the pregnancy/childbirth conversations or stories. I will never carry the pregnancy badge of honor. Adam and I will never experience the bond a baby brings to a marriage. We will always be outsiders no matter what.
...BUT...
Adoption is our saving grace.
Adoption is our only hope.
Adoption is our the light at the end of the tunnel.
Adoption is our miracle.
Adoption is our happiness.
Adoption is our world.
Adoption will strengthen our bond.
Adoption will be our badge of honor.
Adoption will be our story.
Adoption will be our dream come true.
and
because of this amazing process.
it will be...
Our saving grace.
Our dream come true.
Our miracle.
Our ultimate treasure.
Our whole world.
Our unique story.
Our fairy tale.
Our dream come true.
Our happiness.
Ours.
