You Might Be a [Redneck] if......

I don't know how many of you know that I'm a huge fan of Jeff Foxworthy and his whole You Might Be a Redneck if....things. I got a small desk calendar for Christmas I have been very bad at tearing off the days so since I am a month behind now I thought I would make a blog post and share with all of you, so....

You Might Be a Redneck if....

• The "Elvis theme" of your ceremony wasn't intentional.
• You hold a yard sale the day after every baby shower.
• The only authority figure you respect is Captain Morgan.
• You've deliberately killed a bug with a bottle rocket.
• Your lips are moving as your reading this.
• You only notice when the "check engine" light goes off.
• You think Xbox is where you keep your divorce papers.
• Your first words to your wife each morning are "got a light?"
• Starting your truck requires a big hill and a lot of luck.
• Your wedding ring changes colors when your happy.
• You think Myspace is the La-Z-boy next to the TV.
• Flushing your toilet requires both hands.
• You don't notice power outages.
• You've sent a fan letter to Chef Boyardee.
• You think a hybrid car is the half of a Camaro you welded to half of a Pinto.
• You taped WWF wrestling over your wedding video.
• Door-to-door salesman skip your door.
• There are always spent shotgun shell casings on your deck.
• Every time a car backfires you hit the deck.
• Your trailer park is home to at least one cult.
• Your kid's stuffed animals really are stuffed animals.
• You've ever tried on a bra at a yard sale.
• You've demolished a kitchen to catch a rat.
• Your "deck" is an abandoned flatbed trailer next to your home.
• Your church was towed to its current location.
• Going swimming means damming the creek.
• Your underwear is edible but your cooking isn't.